Jean's Dilemma
by phoenixyfriend
Summary: Eren stumbles across a little secret that just made his life a whole lot more complicated. Gen/friendship fic, gender bender, fem!Jean.
1. In the Showers

To the majority of the boys in the 104th training squadron, the concept of a communal shower was no big deal. Sure, they teased Reiner about how his large pectorals almost looked like a pair of strange breasts, or Eren about how he looked like a drowning cat when he was wet, or Connie about how all the hair had fled from his head to his back, or Armin about how lanky he was, but it was explicitly understood, after the first week, that it was all in good fun, and that if anyone showed genuine discomfort, the teasing would immediately stop. The few times this unofficial policy had been needed, it had been followed to the letter. There were other, official restrictions, such as regulations regarding when they could shower and for how long to conserve water and time, and one very strange, very specific unofficial rule.

No one was allowed in when Jean was showering, unless it was an emergency. In that case, only Marco could go in, unless there was absolutely, positively no choice whatsoever in the matter. After a few months of awkwardness, with Jean progressively taking shorter and shorter showers to avoid causing problems, the rule had loosened a little to no one being allowed to pull back the shower curtain around Jean's little cubicle, no one being allowed to peek over the edge of the cubicle, and Jean refusing to leave the safety of said cubicle until everyone (barring, on rare occasions, Marco) had left already.

It was strange, but they all had their little quirks. Mikasa freaked out whenever someone threatened Eren, though stoically. Armin had dozens of books now, but he was constantly rearranging them by name, date, author, genre, and whatever else came to mind and tickled his neuroses. Mina spent over an hour on her hair every morning. Reiner had to brush his teeth exactly fifty-two times each in the morning and evening. Bertholt ironed his pants every day, whether they needed it or not. Annie hated it when people tried to touch her hair. Sasha was obsessed with food. Connie couldn't stand being in even mild weather without a jacket. Marco borrowed Armin's politics books as often as possible. Ymir and Christa were… Ymir and Christa, with their own set of problems that no one had tried to poke through yet.

And Jean had his shower rules.

Too bad Eren accidentally broke them.

o.o.o.o.o

It was an accident, really, it was. Eren had just realized that he'd left something behind, something so comparatively insignificant that he couldn't recall what it was years later when asked. He'd just been coming back to get it, and thought that Jean had already left.

He hadn't.

So when Eren nonchalantly opened the door, well-oiled and silent, which his eyes already searching for the left-behind sock (so _that's_ what it was), his gaze accidentally hit upon Jean.

A very shocked Jean.

A very shocked and _naked_ Jean.

A very shocked and naked Jean with _no penis_.

Eren stared for a total of three seconds before flushing and turning around, intent on getting the h*ll out of there as quickly as possible without suspicion.

"Jaeger!" Jean's voice stopped him short, panicked and slightly higher than normal. "Don't you _dare_ tell anyone!"

"…We can talk alone in the training grounds later." Eren offered, because holy sh*t, this was big, and eurgh, he needed to get the facts straight or he'd go insane.

"…If that's what it takes for you to keep your stupid trap shut, then fine." Jean growled. "Now get out."

Eren fled, mind already racing.

o.o.o.o.o

**A/N: I was browsing some SnK threads, and a few mentioned various characters being genderbent. One or two mentioned Jean in some way or other, and… honestly, it infiltrated my mind. This isn't my first genderbender story, not by a long shot, so a lot of you probably already know that I've got a certain love for them, even if this is my first story where the change is an "origin" change, rather than a mid-life change. As a result… this. This one will, from my preliminary ideas, run under a bit of a friendship theme. PLEASE do NOT ask for pairings. Pairings will come when I see fit, and not before. They will also be only by my own choice, depending on what I think is best for the story.**

**Let's see how this little trip goes, eh?**

**Ja ne,**

**Phoenix**


	2. Hidden Night

Eren sat alone in the training grounds, arms loosely looped around his knees. He heard Jean before he saw the disagreeable recruit, but he didn't react, even when Jean plopped down next to him. The silence stretched on.

"…You're a girl." Eren finally stated, just to get it out in the open.

"Yeah." A straightforward, if weary and wary, tone.

"Why are you…?" He trailed off.

"My parents wanted a son. They went into denial when I was born." A shuffle of cloth, probably a shrug of the shoulders. "I was raised as a guy. I'm just lucky that they chose a name that can be used by both boys and girls."

"…Who else knows?" Eren asked, tentative and hesitant.

"Marco. We grew up together, so… yeah." Jean shrugged.

Eren nodded, his head spinning. "What about you? What do you think of…?"

There was silence in reply, and Eren turned to see Jean pensively silent, head buried between slim arms. "Jean?"

"…I think of myself as a girl." The answer finally came. "A masculine one, but a girl."

Eren nodded. Masculine girls were nothing new. Mikasa might have worn skirts and had full lips and shiny hair, but he'd seen her throw full-grown men into walls. Sasha might have had long hair and a nice voice and a pretty smile, but she knew more about hunting than anyone and ate anything she could get her hands on. Annie might have had intriguing eyes and a good figure, but she took down anyone and everyone that challenged her in hand-to-hand. Ymir didn't need an explanation.

(Christa and Mina, on the other hand, were _quite_ feminine, even if they were fairly good at being soldiers.)

So Jean being a masculine girl was nothing weird. Jean being a guy in mind despite a female body would have taken a lot more getting used to, but Eren thought he could deal with Jean being a girl, even if…

"Um… don't you feel awkward sleeping in the same room as so many guys?" Eren asked, slightly uncomfortable with asking.

"Not… not really?" Jean shrugged. "It's not like anyone's going to try something, other than Marco maybe getting a nightmare and crawling into my bed, and we've both done that to each other enough times over the years for it to be no big deal." Silence fell again, not quite smothering in the cool, clear air of the night.

"…Why are you telling me all this?" Eren finally asked, naming the one question he hadn't been able to get off his mind.

Jean made a small noise like an angry cat. "That's not… listen, I figured that if I told you everything straight out like this, you'd be more likely to, you know… not tell anyone."

"That's…" Eren fell quiet, thinking. Honestly, the fact that Jean was a girl, while slightly shocking and more than a little uncomfortable, wasn't something he really needed to tell anyone, unless something medical happened, in which case… "What about Marco? Can I tell him I know?"

Jean made a face, nose wrinkling. "I'll tell him myself."

Eren nodded, and then got back to thinking. The secret wasn't really something Armin and Mikasa needed to know, especially since it didn't really affect them, and it concerned someone that Eren wasn't all that sure trusted them, but—

"Mikasa!" He exclaimed, turning to his fellow recruit. "You… you complimented her hair, right? And you kept blushing, so we all thought you had a crush, but… do you, y'know…" he gestured vaguely, having run out of steam after his initial epiphany. "Are you like Ymir?"

Jean made another angry cat noise. "No! I mean, I don't care for… urgh. Okay, let me put it this way: when it comes to what I find attractive, I prefer men. There have been several _rare_ cases where I found a woman attractive, but that's it. No, I do not have a full blown crush on… on Mikasa."

Eren didn't quite believe that, if only due to the tone Jean's voice held, but he let it go. "Fine, okay. So you don't like women that way. I… okay." He put his head in his hands as a strange thought whisked its way through his head. "…Does that mean that your arguments with me have been some weird reverse pigtail pulling th— OW!"

Eren leaned away from Jean, one hand on his upper arm, where he was sure there would be a bruise in the morning. "A**hole, what was that for?"

Jean glared at him. "Moron. As if I'd ever like an _idiot_ like you."

"Oi, I know I'm not as smart as Armin, but I'm not _that_ bad." Eren glared at Jean with partially wounded pride.

"Tch. Right." The blond snorted and turned to face away from Eren again.

Eren grumbled and turned away again, so that they were once more facing the same way, side by side, not looking at each other.

"…How do you hide, you know…?" Eren gestured vaguely at his own chest, well aware that he was probably blushing right now.

Jean stared at him, as though dumbfounded at his failed attempt at tact. "Okay, one? They're called breasts. So long as you're not a pervert about it, most women probably won't try to hurt you for saying it. Two? I'm _thirteen_, and freaky skinny. I don't exactly have much to hide that way."

Eren winced, not at all used to talking to girls about… that. Actually, he wasn't all that used to talking to girls. He'd talked to his mom, and Mikasa, but they were family. And the only thing he talked to Annie about was fighting.

"…So what changes now?" Eren finally asked. "I'll keep your little secret, but…"

"We keep going as we have been, moron." Jean sighed, finally standing up. "And nothing changes except for that you know."

Eren wasn't so sure about that.


	3. Freckled Jesus is his Homeboy

The meeting came after dinner.

"Hey, Eren, wait up!"

Eren turned to see Marco running up to him, one hand in the air. He turned to Mikasa and Armin. "Um… I think I know what this is about. I'll catch up with you guys later?"

Mikasa shrugged, but nodded immediately after, turning to walk away. Armin followed her, waving a small goodbye. They started talking before they were out of earshot, continuing some conversation from earlier about which mushrooms were safe to eat while separated from civilization, quizzing each other in preparation for the test later on that week.

"So… is this about what Jean told me?" Eren asked when Marco finally got to him.

"Um, yeah." Marco rubbed the back of his head, and then pointed towards one of the training areas, empty during the evening. "Mind if we talk where they can't overhear anything?"

Eren blinked, wondering what else there could possibly be to talk about. He still had questions, obviously, but he thought that Jean wouldn't have wanted this to be discussed anymore.

Marco sat down almost childishly, with his legs splayed and his back against a tree. Eren sat down next to him in a more compact position, once again hugging his knees.

"So… what did you want to talk about?" Eren asked cautiously, feeling out the situation first.

Marco just shrugged. "Honestly? I don't know. But I figured that since you were in on the secret now, we should at least talk. Shared secrets are supposed to bring people closer, right?"

Eren made a face. "I'm not too sure about that. Jean seemed pretty eager to go ahead and forget that it ever happened."

"She's… sensitive about it, I guess." Marco winced. "Jean's been pretty angry about the whole situation for a few years. It wasn't such a big deal when we were kids, but once we started getting to the point where gender was an issue…"

"How long have you known each other?" Eren asked, slightly curious.

"If I tell you that, will you tell me about how you know Mikasa and Armin?" Marco retorted, though there was an easygoing and questioning smile on his face. "I mean, I'll tell you anyway, but I'm honestly pretty curious about how you know those two."

Eren's face grew a little darker, a shadow stealing across it as he remembered just what had brought him to Mikasa. "…I'll tell you some of the story."

Marco, bless him, caught the hint and didn't press the subject, just shifted a little uneasily and started his own story. "Jean and I… our parents are friends. We're not nobles, but our parents are upper class for Trost, and pretty close, so we've known each other practically since we were born." He grinned. "We're not related, but… well, we basically grew up together, so we might as well be siblings."

Eren nodded, and then, hesitantly, began to relate his own tale. "I've known Armin for years. Maybe since I was five or six? We both wanted to get out of the walls, so we talked a lot about what the world was like beyond them. His grandfather… well, Armin had a lot of access to some forbidden books about it, and we always talked about seeing the ocean for once. That was probably his favorite subject, actually, the ocean and the seas."

Marco nodded, enjoying the fond nostalgia that Eren was exuding. "And Mikasa."

Eren's face shut down. "…We were nine. My dad came to visit her family because he was a doctor and they were friends. If you want the full story, you need to ask Mikasa."

He refused to elaborate, and Marco could tell that the conversation was heading for dangerous territory. He tried to steer it back in a happier direction. "My dad was a merchant, and so was Jean's, so they were always bringing back stories about stuff outside of Trost, like small mountain villages, or even from inside Wall Sina. The stories they told about the city and the king were part of why I decided to try to join the Military Police. Protecting a place like that, working directly for the king…"

"Is nothing but a ploy to get the best of the trainees away from the actual Titans." Eren growled, parroting back what Annie had told him before.

Marco frowned. "Not really. I mean, a lot of them are like Jean. They want to get away from the outer walls and into the safer areas, and no place is safer than Wall Sina. So if everyone were given the option of the Military Police, there would be almost no one left for the Garrison or the Survey Corps. So they need to keep the numbers limited, and the king would never agree for his elite protection to be made out of only the bottom ten."

"They could have everyone that wants to join the Military Police submit their names for review and then draw lots." Eren suggested, a little surprised by the fact that Marco had a logical reason for the system.

"Maybe, but people would try to rig those, and a lot of the trainees that only joined for a chance at the Military Police would stop trying as hard. The overall effectiveness of the military as a whole would decline if it was all randomly selected." Marco was actually getting a little into the discussion.

"Then why not try to fix the reputation of the other divisions instead?" Eren pointed out. "The Survey Corps are a small division, and given what their job is, they can only use the best, right? If only the top ten are accepted there, and the reputation is fixed enough for it to be seen as an honorable goal the way the Military Police is right now, along with maybe a pay raise, then the effectiveness of the trainees can be kept up without removing the best fighters from the frontlines."

Marco bit his lip. "That still might not work, because of the high death rate for the Survey Corps being a huge deterrent. And then… what about the Garrison? When given the choice between the Garrison and the Military Police, people usually choose the Military Police. If only the best get into the Survey Corps, and everyone else chooses the Military Police, then the Garrison has no one, even though they're supposed to be the biggest section of the military."

Eren groaned and put his head in his hands. "This whole situation is just a mess."

Marco shrugged. "I guess that's just how things work. At least we're not like the old armies from before the walls, you know? Some of them would only let nobles fight, or rich peasants, and almost none of them let women fight."

"Yeah, I don't know how Mikasa would feel about not being able to follow me into the Sur…" Eren frowned. "Wait, hold on."

Marco blinked, but stayed silent as he acquiesced.

"…Women are allowed into the military. And Jean's parents aren't here to tell him, no, _her_ to do otherwise. And I'm pretty sure that it goes against regulation to apply as the wrong sex. So why is Jean hiding?" Eren turned to Marco almost accusingly as the question hit him. There was no _point_ to Jean pretending to be a boy if she could be in the army and away from her parents anyway.

"Her birth certificate says male." Marco admitted, and Eren's brain ground to a halt. "Her parents weren't just being stubborn when they decided to raise her male; they're actually in denial to a point where it might not be mentally healthy. They were hovering over her shoulder when she was applying, so she couldn't explain things, and her birth certificate had to be shown since she wasn't a Wall Maria refugee. Since the birth certificate and what she was saying matched up, she was signed up as male, and if she admits the truth now, she'll be punished for lying on her application forms; she'd probably get a demerit and banned from joining the Military Police, possibly be kicked out of the trainee corps altogether, and there's even a small chance that she would be arrested for it."

"…Wow, that's just… _wow._" Eren couldn't decide just which part of that situation was the most messed up. It probably wasn't as messed up as, say, Mikasa's life, but it was still pretty depressing compared to most people.

"So you get how big of a deal it is for this to be kept a secret, right?" Marco put a hand on Eren's shoulder, an implicit sign that he wanted to trust Eren, and wanted Eren to trust him back.

"…Yeah, I get it."

o.o.o.o.o

**A/N: A plothole is plugged, a relationship explained, and an in-universe concept discussed.**

**I always thought that the Military Police aspect was a little too simplified in-universe, and that not enough fanfic authors actually thought more than what Eren said. There's a whole mess of consequences and implications that would be involved if anything were to change about the situation.**

**And for anyone that's curious, the only pairing I'm near certain I'm not doing is Jean/Marco. For the sake of the storyline, I needed them to be childhood friends and, despite what anime tells you, childhood friends do **_**not**_** often end up together in real life, due to something known as the Westermarck Effect, which is also why I think incest shipping is really, really unlikely unless there are some **_**really**_** special circumstances. If you try to argue against my decision (relax, I'm a Jean/Marco fan too, it's just not really an option in this story), please look this up first, so that I'm not explaining from scratch.**

**Ja ne,**

**Phoenix**


	4. All for a Bad Pun and Nice Hair

"I don't get it." Eren grumbled. "Why are we out here?"

Marco grinned at him, almost good-natured. "Well, I thought it would be nice to invite you out with us."

Eren pointedly looked away from Jean, who was very much doing her best to ignore him in turn. "Well, yeah, I get that, but I don't think Jean is happy about it. And I'm not exactly happy about it. And Mikasa and Armin are probably going to get worried or suspicious."

Marco just kept grinning, putting a hand on Eren's shoulder. "Relax, we're just swimming."

"With Jean. A girl."

"Oh, just shut up and get in the water, Jaeger." Jean muttered, glaring at him from her own position in the small lake. She was already in up to her neck, clothes and all. "I only get to do this once a month or so, so don't ruin it for me, m'kay?"

Eren rolled his eyes and shucked off his shirt. "Alright, alright."

He took a running leap off of a rock and into the water, cannonballing in.

"What the hell, Jaeger?!" Jean spluttered, wiping her face and glaring at Eren as he surfaced. "Was that really necessary?"

"Nah." Eren shook his head, water flying off like a dog. "But it's fun."

She glowered at him for a few seconds, and then her eyes darted past to focus on something else. "Marco, don't you _dare_."

Eren turned around and grinned as he saw Marco, who was shrugging apologetically. "I promise I'll just dive, okay?"

"No! Not okay!"

"Jump, Bodt!" Eren called, if only because he knew it would infuriate Jean.

Marco laughed, doing exactly that. The dive wasn't perfect, but it was still much cleaner and more controlled than Eren's entry.

Jean glared at them both, but eventually broke down and laughed along.

"Hey, Jean?" Eren asked a few minutes later, after they had all been swimming around and playing in the water for a while. "Why do you keep your hair so short?"

Jean raised an eyebrow. "It's not obvious? If I grew my hair out, my parents would get on my case about acting feminine again."

"Why?" Eren tread water for a bit, rather than swim around. "I mean, I know girls don't usually have hair that's any shorter than Mikasa's, but it's not like it's an issue for a guy to have long hair."

Jean snorted, and Marco winced in the background. "Name _one_ man that has long hair and has actually had a respectable reputation in his life. _One_ man."

Eren shrugged. "Does my dad count?"

Jean opened her mouth, as though about to retort angrily, but paused, a look of confusion flitting across her face. "Your dad?"

Eren nodded, kicking himself back a little. "Yeah, my dad. He had hair that was about as long as my mom's, and he wore it in a low ponytail. So long as you wear it the right way, you can probably get away with growing it out and still saying you're a boy."

Jean's mouth opened into a little 'o' shape, but she quickly closed it and shook her head. "That still doesn't… what did your dad do for a living?"

"Doctor." Eren answered promptly. "He got rid of a plague in Shiganshina and—"

"Grisha Jaeger!" Marco suddenly exclaimed, seeming almost excited as he pointed at Eren. "My dad mentioned him once! Saved the southern wall town from some disease, a hero to Shiganshina!"

Eren grinned, though there was a small sour note in the back of his mind, demanding some sort of answer to an unknown question. "Yeah, that's him. I didn't know anyone knew about him outside of Shiganshina, though."

Marco shrugged. "Merchants, remember? Hey, Jean, if Dr. Jaeger is as well-known as my dad said, then you might actually be able to convince your parents to let you grow it out!"

"And I know I saw some Survey Corps members that had hair in small ponytails. Not super long like my dad, but still long enough that it could make you feel a little more feminine. You could at least grow it out to Armin's length, right?" Eren prodded a little more, pushing Jean to take the chance. "Don't know 'til you try, right?"

Jean seemed to curl in a little on herself, even though she had to keep moving to keep her head above water. "You think it could really work?"

Eren tried not to pity Jean at that moment, because she didn't seem the type that _wanted_ anyone's pity, whether it was deserved or not, needed or not.

"Yeah." Marco grinned, no hint of strain in it. "C'mon, I'll even help you write the letter to your parents tomorrow to figure out how to broach the subject."

"Alright." Jean grinned tentatively, and then swam a few feet away, closing her eyes. "Marco!"

"What?" Marco blinked, and then seemed to realize what was going on. "Oh! Polo!"

Eren didn't know where the game or the name had come from (though Armin probably would), but he _did_ know how to play.

"Marco!"

This time, two voices joined in. "Polo!"

o.o.o.o.o

**A/N: The chapter was originally just going to be the hair thing. But I couldn't resist the urge of the Marco Polo joke. Enjoy.**

**Tell me if I'm going too OOC at some points so that I can fix it.**

**Ja ne,**

**Phoenix**


End file.
